tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
