This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
