pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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