matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
