Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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