So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
