ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
