im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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