i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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