Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
