we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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