5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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