okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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