I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
