I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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