this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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