In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
