Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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