I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize