we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
