Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
