Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Maybe i donβt have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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