Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I would ride that face into the sunset
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