So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
