It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
