she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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