I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
