My first STD was from a foam party
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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