I saw his package. It spoke to me.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
there is glitter all over my balls
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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