I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize