I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
