you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
