So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Randomize
