I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
40s are totally the cure
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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