OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
