your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
