I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
