He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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