is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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