I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
