rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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