he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
