well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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