The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
