Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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