i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
