i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
