he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
zippers are such a cool invention
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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