i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
