I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she told me i tasted like america
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
