I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
