The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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