4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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