we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
