I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
