shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize