I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Your tits are I can't wait for
its not stalking. its research.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have feelings that need drinking.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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