That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
