He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
