So drunk its hurt
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
