NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
