i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize