i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
