Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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