Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
its not stalking. its research.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
