i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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